BlackBerry and Washington DC Waste — They’re Using it for Sex and Dating not Work

by Reads (4,847)

Having a BlackBerry device has become as much a status symbol as it is a truly useful business tool.  So don’t be too impressed by the guy or gal next to you that’s punching away at a BlackBerry.  It might seem like they’re typing an important work message, but in all likelihood they’re flirting with a co-worker within one of their incestuous political or elite finance circles — they’ve even given this practice a name: “Blirting”

According to a recently written New York Times article the young Congressional aides on the Hill, who have an average age of under 35, have a bit too much time on their
hands or simply choose to use the tax payer funded devices to advance their dating and sexual lives.

According to the spokesman for the Democratic National Convention, Jano Cabrera, “Once the Hill staffers got the Berries, the social dating scene was revolutionized.  Suddenly they have gone from earnest policy wonks and flacks who leave at the end of the tday to mini-keyboard Lotharios.”  The BlackBerry has apparently given Washington DC Professionals a method of shooting back and forth witty messages with potential love interests around the clock.  And the young professional users really like the fact that it provides a less direct and unawkward way of communicating.  Cabrera says “You no longer have the classic dilemma…’Is it too late for me to call?’  Instead you can simply and safely send a Berry.  If they are awake they will respond, and if they are not, they won’t.”  Maybe he should have just flat out said, if they respond then the one night stand might work out, if they don’t then you go home and take a cold shower; chump.

The BlackBerry became popular in Washington DC after September 11, 2001 due to the fact that cell phone networks went down during the tragedy (due to traffic) while BlackBerry networks stayed up because of the lower traffic load.  Lawmakers started using their office budgets to provide BlackBerries to both senior and junior staff members so they could always be in touch.  And while it is the case that Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist, might be sending to-do lists to his staffers after midnight some days, he’d better hope it doesn’t get skipped over when a user jumps to a much juicier message with the subject ‘my place 2night?’ or something along those lines.

I can’t say I blame the political types in DC using their BlackBerry for a dating aid.  I’m of the same age and in the same boat as these folks, but doesn’t it seem kind of weird that these devices are tax payer funded and using the device for personal dating is hardly the intended ‘business use’.  In addition, when IRS audits small business owners who have written off stuff as a business item, if the IRS finds it was used for personal reasons as well as business then item that write-off is not a legal one.  So, maybe we should ask for these guys to pay for their own darned dating tool.

Indeed, political types have become so addicted to the use of a BlackBerry that they now call them “CrackBerries.”  Users that have the devices taken away from them after they leave their jobs site withdrawal issues and are left without a way to flirt with those they had in the past.  Boo hoo, do it the old fashioned way, send an SMS message using your cell phone, a method that’s been available for years now.  But I guess that’s missing the point, because if you don’t have a BlackBerry then you’re on the outside and definitely not getting a piece of the action within the circle of haves.

I’m marching to Washington to protest the use of taxpayer money for use of personal sexual gains.  But all I’ll demand is that we can read all the archived messages, at least I hope they’ve been archiving messages sent, because that’d be some Juicy reading.  No pun intended.




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